I think everyone at school experiences some form of bullying. With kids at school, it can be anything - it can be your shoes or the wrong bag or anything. If you are big like I am, you are always going to be a target. So I decided at school to make myself an even bigger target, if you like: to make myself as big as I could be.
The only thing I know is that no one ever sat in a therapist's or a psychiatrist's room saying, 'My parents just loved me too much.' The only thing you can do is love them and be around. Kids don't really care what your car is like or how big their house is. All they really care about is that you are around.
There were a couple of years where I got a bit lost - I went out too much, I was a bit heartbroken, thought I was a bit more of a dude than I really was. I would love to go back and have a strong word with myself.
You can either hope and pray you don't get picked on, or you can, in a way, almost make yourself a bigger target, because it's harder to bully something that's really big. It's easy to bully something that's small and frail.
This arrogance thing... I've had that my whole life. I flip between, 'Oh really? Oh, thank you. Wow. That's amazing' and, 'Yeah! Of course I am.' They're both varying degrees of a self-defence mechanism. It can be from minute to minute that I change.
Nobody tells you when success comes around; in its transient way, you're just working and exhausted all the time. Sometimes I think I'm just sleeping in the back of cars, d'you know what I mean?
You can't make anything without making mistakes, do you know what I mean? Robert De Niro's in the 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' film. There's a lot of far greater people than me who have made mistakes in their careers... There's loads of people who have made stuff that isn't good and never get asked about it.
My biggest tip is this... treat bread like chocolate. You wouldn't have a chocolate bar in the morning and then a double chocolate bar at lunch and then some chocolate before dinner. I was essentially eating a loaf of bread a day. And that doesn't work for me.
I love hard work. 'One Man, Two Guvnors' was so physically tiring I ached all the time, but I took a massive amount of pride in the fact that I only ever missed two shows.
The truth of why I used to listen to Arrested Development on my Walkman was because if I didn't, it would take me 20 minutes to walk to school. If I did, it took me 15. That's the reason I loved it. I just had more of a kick in my step, more of a bounce, so I'd walk quicker.
I'm very proud of 'Gavin and Stacey,' but I think I have to write something else even to start to consider myself a writer. Just because you do something once, it doesn't mean that's who you are. I played football last night; it doesn't mean I'm a footballer.
BBC3 even started their biggest shows, like Jack Whitehall's 'Bad Education,' they premiered on the iPlayer a week before it went on TV. I think it should always be at the forefront of what is fresh and exciting, and therefore it should be the first channel to exist online.
When the 'Guardian' is commissioning writers to write obituary pieces about you and your career... it doesn't get much nastier than that. And you've just got to go, 'It doesn't actually matter.'
People say: 'Oh, but would you be happy for your show to go on BBC3 if it was just online?' If I was sat here telling you I had just signed a huge deal with Netflix you'd be going: 'Wow, that's amazing.' You can't see it as 'Oh, it's no longer a channel because it's not on TV.'
There's nothing nicer than getting a round of applause for turning up for work. It's amazing! You start work, and people clap. Do you know what I mean? And then they stand up and clap at the end.
When I look back at the church I grew up in, I realise that nothing about its behaviour was very Christian. It was just a social club on Sundays where people would meet up with their mates.
I saw Boy George looking amazing, absolutely unbelievable, and messaged him asking for the number of his nutritionist. I got in touch with her, and she put me on this diet plan, working out which foods do and don't suit me. It's not rocket science - basically, don't eat cake, don't eat bread.
I do a mean beef Wellington. Gordon Ramsay's is a phenomenal recipe. But that's a lot of prep. The secret to wrap it in Parma ham before wrapping in pastry. I'm so pro smuggling more meat in.
It's a strange thing, this idea that for some reason, if a lot of people like what you're doing, it's therefore not very good. We use the phrase that a band have 'sold out.' Just so you know, if you're doing a gig and you sell all your tickets, that is a brilliant thing to do.
I don't consider myself to be incredibly confident, or really lacking in confidence. When you're on Jonathan Ross' or Graham Norton's show, inevitably there's something to sell. And there's a live audience; you're sat between Cameron Diaz and Tinie Tempah - I don't really see it as 'me.' It would be odd if it was.